February is getting close and closer

Since I last blogged we have been very busy.
We have now chosen our surrogate, which has been confirmed.
We have also chosen our egg donor, and are waiting confirmation on whether she is available in Feb.
I will email the docs today to see if we have a definite on that on that one.

With chosing the surrogate we definitely looked at height, and weight and also age. My husband was a very big baby and thought it best to attempt to chose a surrogate with a little more height than the others, and one that had a healthy BMI. Still was very hard to chose, I think we had it narrowed down to three at one point, we eventually chose a first and second preference, and twice we had a reply from the docs to say that both our first preferences had been taken....we eventually went with our second preference, which we had chosen on both accounts....I think she was meant to be!

Donor choice I found very hard, as this is to be the potential genetic mother of our child. We eventually got our choice down to two lovely ladies..... and really had to bite the bullet when giving our final decision. Our donor, if available in Feb, has been a proven sauccessful egg donor, with positive pregnancies, so that was a big swayer for us.

It has all felt very bazar. Sitting in your lounge room looking at faces, and profiles of theses women very far away. I really do have to pinch myself that we are actually doing this on many occasions.

Still have many things to organise, and February seems to be looming closer snd closer.

I have got a seven day break over Christmas so hope to get lots done then!!

Moving forward....

We have finally sent off all documents and enrollment fee to SI. Really hope to be looking at our ED and Surrogate profiles very soon...... hubby phoned me from work yesterday to tell me he had finally been able to transfer the money to India, he showed REAL excitement for the first time....I think he knows this is for real now....up and till now it has all been talk...we will now be getting into a BIT OF ACTION AND MOVING FORWARD......yeaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!

What an ordeal I am finding this all to be....I feel like I have spent hours reading, researching , thinking, discussing, worrying, AND IT IS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF THIS LONG JOURNEY.

Sometimes I feel really strong , and feel that nothing will break my determination to have a family...other times I have to ask myself, why me, and become very self absorbed feeling sorry for myself.
Thank goodness most of the time I am able to carry on enjoying life for what I have already got...which is a GREAT deal...loving family, loving husband, healthy life, great friends, comfortable life style, great job, BUT there is always that one niggling thing at the back of my mind, that often comes to the forfront....a child to love and care for.....I have so much love to give, I sometimes think I could just burst.

But I can't be any happier and more thankful, than having this opportunity to travel to india and the chance to create a family.

I am feeling very positve about our trip to India, we have both always wanted to travel to india. When we both first met over ten years ago, we both talked about one day going there, and was hoping to travel last year for hubby's 40th Birthday but didn't quite make it, this is before we even new about surrogacy in India.....so this all seems like it was meant to be.....feeling like India will bring much new life our way, in both heart, soul and being.

On the home front.....Weather is VERY hot here today and is continuing to remain hot for the rest of the week...I think Summer is in the way. We will be in the midst of Summer when we depart for India....can't wait to meet the Doctors who are helping us through this journey....it will all become very real when we set foot off of the plane.

Our Molly dog has just got back from the vets....she is feeling very sorry for herself....with who knows how many stitches all over her body. She has had many growths removed and has also been desexed to hopefully prevent any more growths occuring. She has bounced back well for her age, from a three hour anaesthetic, but definitely needs some TLC for a while. She is currently sleeping very soundly in her basket in the nice cool of the airconditioning....thank god for cooling!! Heat wave hear we come!!

HIgh demand for Indian egg donors

Need to get my act together !! I have had an email from SI, stating that they have high demad for egg donors and advise us that we need to "freeze"" an egg donor soon.
We are still waiting for our passport which will take another 10 days approximately, which is part of the necessary paper work before you can commence looking at donors.
I am getting nervous that we will miss out on "freezing"" a suitable donor.

I suppose we all want the perfect donor......lets hope there is one left for us!! A lovely Indian lady that produces lots of good quality eggs. If only my eggs were up to scratch!!

Sometimes I really have to pinch myself that we are actually doing this.....I believe it will all become very real when we do start to look at donors....BIG decisions ahead.

Information Overload ??

I have been reading so many great blogs and I now feel that I am getting more nervous the more I read.

I know this may sound silly, but you start to question your decisions.

I suppose sometimes you do have to go with your gut feeling on things, I may live to regret this comment who knows.......but the deeper I look into things the more frightened I become.

I think I need to stop worrying and just concentrate at the job at hand...i.e sorting out our passports. Both our photos were duds...Doug's was too dark and I was smiling with my teeth showing. So I am having to get our photos redone and re-signed.....DAMN!!

Once we have our passports, time to send off our enrollment forms, enrollment fee, copy of passports, copy of marriage certificate, and a photo of us both to SI.

Need also to get all blood tests and semen analysis completed in November.

Have sent an email to SI to find out the number of egg donars and surrogates we will have to choose form around our time in India in February, I await to hear their response.

I have also asked about embryo transfer, amount of...and on what day.... they transfer. Also asked about freezing costs of sperm and embryos. Just wanting to know a few bits of info before we jump head on in with our enrollment...like I say...nervous now after reading so many great blogs....really you can never have too much information...and I think the closer we get the more nervous I become.

Let's hope this nervous feelin turns back to excitement soon !!

Booked flights !!

Well it has been a while since I last blogged...and I am still trying to work this blog thing out. I am not very computer wise...so bare with me guys. I don't have too many fancy pictures or stuff like that.

Well some good news!! We have booked our flights to India!! February 2nd - February 24th.
We have notified SI and have been told that these dates should be fine.
Currently in process of sorting out our passports.

Unfortunately still having lots of problems in the womens department. Will possibly need a hysterectomy very soon ( well need one now really, but am putting off the inevitable). My Doctor has adjusted my medications, and I hope this helps until we have been on our journey to India. If I do need to go ahead and have surgery it will be high risk and will also be a long recovery time, so I really can't afford to be having any surgery any time soon.

One step at a time....

Well we have now received a few emails from Surrogacy India and have also received our enrollment forms.
I am now starting to get excited about the whole process.
Once our enrollment forms are processed I believe we may be able to start looking at egg donars.

We will be looking at Indian egg donars which will be very exciting also.

I have great hope and positivity that Doug and I will eventually have our own family.
This has to be our best hope in a vey long journey so far, our own IVF attempts were fruitless and heartbreaking.

I have recently had contact with our old reproductive unit who are happy to release information to SI regarding the treatment we received with them.
Really it is just pure proof that I am infertile.

It is a horrific realisation, and it does take a while to come to that realisation, but when you do, you almost empower yourself to fight on and have hope that there are other ways and options to eventually having a family.

I do distinctly remember years ago when a close friend was going through IVF that I could not understand why anyone would put themselves through the pain and anguish of it all. I really believed that if I couldn't have kids, than I would just accept it, end of story, and really, what was all the fuss about.

I would have to say that I now look back and really can't believe how unthoughtful I was back when my friend was trying with IVF. I thought she was obsessed about having a baby.

Guess what.... only when you are told that you can't have a baby do you become overwhelmed with the feeling of utter disbelief, failure and extreme sadness. I have spent many days feeling sorry for myself, knowing that I will never have a mini me, a girls ultimate dream to look into her child's eyes and see a little part of herself.

But I now know that I was not put on this planet just for that reason, I now realise that my life will be better and stronger for having a family that will be our special family through love and perseverance.

Many times I have looked into my Husbands eyes and felt a failure.
But I know that he loves me for who I am, and is very, very excited at the opportunity of having an Indian born child with his own genetic connection.

How special that child will be. We desperately look forward to this exciting journey we are embarking on... I am sure there will be lots of bumps along the way... but with true hope and love we will get thee in the end.

I really do love life and believe that I am very fortunate to be able to travel on this journey of surrogacy to fulfill our dream of having our own family.

I look forward to my next communication with SI.
Enrollment forms almost fully completed!!

We have pretty much decided to go with the Surrogacy India clinic in Mumbai, after visiting many websites and blog sites.

Very difficult decision to make when you have never seen or visited the place.

My gut feeling is saying SI i s the clinic for us.

I now need to get Australian medical records together to send to the clinic.

We are hoping to book flights to India for January 2010.
There is a current sale which ends at the end of July for flights with (I think it is) Malasian Airlines, $1300. The clinic have said that January will be fine.

Spoke to an Indian friend today who I used to work with. She was very happy for me, and has wished me well with our journey. She will be back in India, May next year, and has invited us to visit her if we are in India later in the year.

Better get my act together and get all my medical records organised!!!

Wandering how soon we will get to choose a surrogate, and donar for our trip in January ??

All I have to say at this present time is that I am very scared and very excited at the same time.
My Husband and I have decided that we would like to attempt surrogacy.
We are currently tying to decide which clinic to attend in India.
We have emailed several clinics with no response.
Unfortunately I am infertile, so unable to use my own eggs.
Hoping that there is a clinic that will provide donar eggs or practice natural/traditional surrogacy.
Would love to speak to anyone who is in a similar situation or has any info to offer.