Thursday, August 6, 2009

One step at a time....

Well we have now received a few emails from Surrogacy India and have also received our enrollment forms.
I am now starting to get excited about the whole process.
Once our enrollment forms are processed I believe we may be able to start looking at egg donars.

We will be looking at Indian egg donars which will be very exciting also.

I have great hope and positivity that Doug and I will eventually have our own family.
This has to be our best hope in a vey long journey so far, our own IVF attempts were fruitless and heartbreaking.

I have recently had contact with our old reproductive unit who are happy to release information to SI regarding the treatment we received with them.
Really it is just pure proof that I am infertile.

It is a horrific realisation, and it does take a while to come to that realisation, but when you do, you almost empower yourself to fight on and have hope that there are other ways and options to eventually having a family.

I do distinctly remember years ago when a close friend was going through IVF that I could not understand why anyone would put themselves through the pain and anguish of it all. I really believed that if I couldn't have kids, than I would just accept it, end of story, and really, what was all the fuss about.

I would have to say that I now look back and really can't believe how unthoughtful I was back when my friend was trying with IVF. I thought she was obsessed about having a baby.

Guess what.... only when you are told that you can't have a baby do you become overwhelmed with the feeling of utter disbelief, failure and extreme sadness. I have spent many days feeling sorry for myself, knowing that I will never have a mini me, a girls ultimate dream to look into her child's eyes and see a little part of herself.

But I now know that I was not put on this planet just for that reason, I now realise that my life will be better and stronger for having a family that will be our special family through love and perseverance.

Many times I have looked into my Husbands eyes and felt a failure.
But I know that he loves me for who I am, and is very, very excited at the opportunity of having an Indian born child with his own genetic connection.

How special that child will be. We desperately look forward to this exciting journey we are embarking on... I am sure there will be lots of bumps along the way... but with true hope and love we will get thee in the end.

I really do love life and believe that I am very fortunate to be able to travel on this journey of surrogacy to fulfill our dream of having our own family.

I look forward to my next communication with SI.
Enrollment forms almost fully completed!!